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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?